Accident

When we loped down heaven's grand hallway
As four year olds in father's boots
Attached with pins and gleeful grins
Was father's raincoat like a cape of Dracula's.
And we knew then
We'd grow into those clothes.

When we marched, demanding, to principals
As teenagers that spit at god
Attached to hooks in arrogance
On arms and institutional paint were swastikas
For we knew then
We'd grow into oblivion.

When we kissed, embracing, in the chapel
As two lovers that owned the world
Attached to our two smiles there
Was ignorance of what commitment signifies
Did we know then
We'd grow into separation?

When I stood out here upon Spring fields
As just a spark in ecstacy
Attached to every living thing
Is struggle from which I've been so disconnected
And I knew then
I've grown like an accident.

And I know now
I didn't want to be so human.

Nik Habermel, March 1996